Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Looks like I get a day off from writing today.  See: Day 14!

Day 14: A hero that has let you down

I’ve never really had heroes in my life.  Sure, there have been people I’ve looked up to, like my parents or a fellow baseball coach or my mentor.  Even the larger-than-life sports figures I’ve followed have never had “hero” status.  I was going to skip this topic, then I thought about the definition of hero.  I’ve pared down the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary definition of hero as:

1.       a : a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability

           b : a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities

           c : one who shows great courage

2.       the central figure in an event, period, or movement

3.       an object of extreme admiration and devotion : idol

After reading these definitions, it was then that I realized I had been let down by a “hero” for nearly the last decade of my life.  That hero was myself.  While it may seem preposterous that I could be classified as a hero, I want to take a look at a few aspects of this definition and I think you’ll agree that I had, indeed, made myself a hero in my life.

 1a: a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability

I had big dreams coming out of high school.  I was ready to take over the world.  After all, I’d been told all my life how intelligent I was, how successful I would be, and that to whom much is given, much is expected.  While that seems like it would be encouraging to hear on a nearly daily basis, it also put a lot of pressure on an eighteen year old boy.  My abilities were in the classroom, and it stood to reason that I would parlay these gifts into a huge income and “successful” life.  Dedication to school work was a near obsession through high school, and throughout most of college.

 1b: a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities

I received endless awards and many more verbal affirmations that I was headed in the right direction in life.  Good grades and extracurricular accolades had me pointed towards a life on Easy Street.  These “accomplishments” had me believing that I really was something special, set above and apart by my own works.

 1c: one who shows courage

Looking back, I think I should’ve been an actor.  I had myself and everyone around me fooled.  Notice here that the definition says shows courage.  Just because one shows courage doesn’t mean they necessarily possess it, and I had become quite adept at facing obstacles and setbacks with what might appear to be courage.  But deep down inside, I was never as truly confident as I appeared.  I searched for courage from within.  I searched for it in self-help books.  I searched for it in the words of famous quotes.  By scrapping all of these pieces together, I could feign courage.  Those who knew me best, those that I confided in, knew better.  The truth is, in my early twenties, life began to scare the hell out of me.  But I thought I could face this on my own, that it was natural and I would “get over it”.  Relying on my own grit, I could overcome these fears.

 2: the central figure in an event, period, or movement

If there was a playlist of my life for the last decade, it might include songs like Tupac’s All Eyez on Me (“The future’s in my eyes, ‘cause all I want is cash and things”…”It seems my main thing was to be major paid”) or Drowning Pool’s Tear Away (“I don’t care about anyone else but me”).  Life was all about me, how to make myself happy, how to get the material things that I wanted.  New truck?  Check.  Great salary?  Check.  Women?  Check.  I added to my possessions and personal experiences in ways that the world told me would make me happy.  In the short term, the world was right, and who, in my mind, brought about all of these great things?  I had.  I was the common denominator in all of my “happiness”, the hero of my life’s story.

 3: an object of extreme admiration and devotion : idol

When people think of idols, they probably think of pagan rituals performed in some far-off land by polytheistic heathens who bow down to statues of gods for everything under, and including, the sun.  But our lives are full of idols: jobs, cars, houses, pleasing others, please one’s self…the list is unending.  Anything that diverts your heart from God can become an idol if you let it.  Scripture tells us in Isaiah 44:9-20 this about idols:

 ⁹ All who make idols are nothing,
   and the things they treasure are worthless.
Those who would speak up for them are blind;
   they are ignorant, to their own shame.
¹⁰ Who shapes a god and casts an idol,
   which can profit nothing?
¹¹ People who do that will be put to shame;
   such craftsmen are only human beings.
Let them all come together and take their stand;
   they will be brought down to terror and shame.

 ¹² The blacksmith takes a tool
   and works with it in the coals;
he shapes an idol with hammers,
   he forges it with the might of his arm.
He gets hungry and loses his strength;
   he drinks no water and grows faint.
¹³ The carpenter measures with a line
   and makes an outline with a marker;
he roughs it out with chisels
   and marks it with compasses.
He shapes it in human form,
   human form in all its glory,
   that it may dwell in a shrine.
¹⁴ He cut down cedars,
   or perhaps took a cypress or oak.
He let it grow among the trees of the forest,
   or planted a pine, and the rain made it grow.
¹⁵ It is used as fuel for burning;
   some of it he takes and warms himself,
   he kindles a fire and bakes bread.
But he also fashions a god and worships it;
   he makes an idol and bows down to it.
¹⁶ Half of the wood he burns in the fire;
   over it he prepares his meal,
   he roasts his meat and eats his fill.
He also warms himself and says,
   “Ah! I am warm; I see the fire.”
¹⁷ From the rest he makes a god, his idol;
   he bows down to it and worships.
He prays to it and says,
   “Save me! You are my god!”
¹⁸ They know nothing, they understand nothing;
   their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see,
   and their minds closed so they cannot understand.
¹⁹ No one stops to think,
   no one has the knowledge or understanding to say,
“Half of it I used for fuel;
   I even baked bread over its coals,
   I roasted meat and I ate.
Shall I make a detestable thing from what is left?
   Shall I bow down to a block of wood?”
²⁰ Such a person feeds on ashes; a deluded heart misleads him;
   he cannot save himself, or say,
   “Is not this thing in my right hand a lie?”

My life was so infested with idols (and still is…don’t get me wrong, I haven’t figured this all out yet…not even close…but I’m working on it) that I chased in hopes of peace and happiness.  I brought these things into my life, and I was the hero that controlled my future.  I thought I controlled every aspect of my life, and I had made myself my own personal god, that I worshipped by seeking worldly success and pleasures.

The fallacy of this lifestyle was revealed when I realized that I was never going to be content.  This makes sense.  By human nature and by the world’s standards, we are expected to strive for more.  But the “more” that I sought was that big promotion or that new vehicle or that gorgeous girl.  Eventually, the newness would wear off and the emptiness crept back in.  I spent a lot of lonely nights in the company of many.  The overwhelming thought I kept having was that there had to be something more, something greater.  Unlike heroes of fairy tales and folklore, I realized that I am not only imperfect, I am flawed to my core, have been since birth, and will continue to be until my final days.

But my life has a new hero.  One that has justified me.  One that has set my sights on a new source of joy.  His name is Jesus Christ, and he doesn’t hold the foolish ways of the last decade against me.  In him, I have realized that peace is not the absence of stress, angst, grief, or pain; peace is the presence of One who is greater, and with Him, I have found the strength to overcome these feelings.  You may have heard that God will not give you anything you can’t handle; this only partially true.  God will not give you anything you can’t handle with Him!  I came to a breaking point in my life with worry over my future, and thinking there was no way I could handle what lay ahead, and I realized I couldn’t do it on my own.  God put enough obstacles in the way of one of the most stubborn and prideful men you will ever meet that made me stop and realize that I needed His help.  I couldn’t go through life alone, with only myself as the hero to save the day.  I had let myself down, but I know that he’s incapable of failure.  And this sense of peace is unlike any I have ever felt.

Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days

I think I could write a book on this topic. I absolutely love music. I could write about how James Morrison seems to have a direct feed to my thoughts when it comes to relationships. I could about the artists on my workout playlist that have fueled me when I’ve needed to release some stress at the gym. I could about the endless sea of talent on YouTube, the cornucopia of unknown or relatively unknown artists that I’ve spent hours watching and how inspirational and entertaining their videos have been for me. But then I thought about a band that moves me every single time I hear them.

When I decided I wanted to go back to church last summer, the logical choice for me was The Well. I had known the pastor for years, I had friends that attended there, and I had heard nothing but great reviews about every aspect of the church. I had one hang-up, though. I had grown up in a church with very traditional music: hymns accompanied by piano and/or organ. I remembered the comfort of some of my favorite songs, such as “The Old Rugged Cross” and “Victory in Jesus”. However, the band at The Well was contemporary; a full band, lights, modern Christian songs that I was unfamiliar with (that’s what happens when you remain out of the church as long as I had, but that’s another story for another time). I almost let that excuse keep me from going to The Well altogether. I thank God that I put those apprehensions aside and went anyway.

There has not been a Sunday yet that I have listened to The Well band and not been moved. The passion with which this group plays is absolutely moving. While some pieces of the band interchange from week to week, they never skip a beat. After watching Adam Hill, I’m convinced he can play any instrument under the sun. And the passion and enthusiasm for the music and the message that Chris Pope, the director of music at The Well, displays from his ever-changing facial hair down to his vibrant red Toms is contagious. And if you want to hear someone tear up a lead guitar with a skill set far beyond his years, don’t miss a Sunday that Holt Jones is on stage. The voices of Todd Doss and Giana Lopez are so genuine, so pure, so poignant, that the music is more than heard. It is felt. More often than not, their music, in combination with the lyrics which are sometimes uplifting and other times cause a necessary introspection, moves me to tears. That’s right, tears. Not too proud to admit that.

When I’ve had a rough day at work, I’m always thankful that The Well posts videos of the full service to their website. While the videos don’t do justice to hearing and seeing this band in person, they’ve carried me through many tough times. Certain songs, no matter how much I hear them, never get old. I could listen to “Your Love Never Fails”, “Beautiful the Blood”, or “Lead Me to the Cross” all day, every day, and not tire. I like to think that I have a decent talent for expressing my feelings and portraying my thoughts on a subject, but I don’t think words alone do justice to what this group has done for me and everyone else that attends The Well. I thank God for this band every chance I get to hear them.

^“2Give thanks to the LORD with the  lyre;
   make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!

³Sing to him a new song;
   play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.”

Psalm 33:2-3

Day 12: Something you never get compliments on

Ok, time to get back on task with the 30 Days of Truth.  I was doing so well posting on consecutive days, then vacation ended and life got in the way…but enough excuses.

I never get compliments on my patience.  Ever.  I want those compliments, and I want them now!  The reason I never get compliments about my patience is that, at times, I have little to none. 

Sometimes, my vision of the manner and speed in which things should be done precludes my ability to be more understanding.  In my personal relationships, I tend to jump all-in and my impatience prevents me from accepting that the other person may not be in the same place I am. Other times, I see the potential for me to change or to improve my standing in life, and I forget that the things I desire, both tangible and intangible, are only attained through processes and time.

I get frustrated too easily.  Of all the times I’ve really needed patience, one period that stands out the most is the five years that I coached high school baseball at the freshman and junior varsity levels.  Believe me, trying to instruct hormonal fifteen and sixteen year olds on the details of bunt coverages and first-and-third situations requires a lot of patience and repetition.  However, if I became frustrated and ran out of patience, it was not out of place as a coach to raise your voice (Sidenote: some coaches actually think that makes them a better one; I tend to disagree…it can get overused to the point where you sound like Charlie Brown’s mother to the players) or inflict punishment in the form of various physical conditioning activities.  This works great on the field; not so much in a corporate setting or when dealing with loved ones.  If my coworker takes fifteen minutes to relay thirty seconds of information, I can’t exactly blow a whistle and demand they do push-ups (although, strangely, I think I would thrive in a work environment similar to that).

Another area where I’ve shown impatience is with personal relationships.  When I exhibit a lack of wisdom and allow myself to get too wrapped up in a romantic relationship, I’m left wondering why we aren’t on the same page.  I am guilty of seeing the potential of a relationship; I see it for what it could be, and not what it is.  Scripture tells us to guard our hearts.  I’m still seeking what that should look like in my life.  I think a large part of that is demonstrating patience and moving slowly.  I’m a person who wears their emotions on their sleeve, so I tell people how I feel about them.  Maybe bolstering the filter between mind and mouth would go a long way in not setting myself up for failure.

Part of this impatience comes from my constant need to feel as if things are moving forward and progressing in my life.  I fall victim to the “If you’re not moving forward, you’re falling behind” mentality.  While I think there can be some truth to that, I also think life is full of plateaus, which is to say that at times we need to rest, get our bearings, reflect on and learn from where we’ve been, and then prepare for the climb ahead with a clear mind.  It is easy to dismiss such a notion in the fast-paced world we live in, but I’m beginning to learn that this can be accomplished through a conscious effort to do so; I simply have to make time to be still.  Learning to let go of my gameplan and timeline for life, knowing that there is One with a far better plan and schedule for His work, is a daily struggle, but one worth enduring. 

“Patience and fortitude conquer all things”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Making The Cut

I was once given a good piece of advice that I’d like to pass on: whenever you’re angered by something, take twenty-four hours to reflect and gather your thoughts on the situation before making any decisions or saying something you might regret.  While this doesn’t work for every scenario, as sometimes situations require immediate attention, I was able to put this advice to practice recently and my conclusion is still the same: I’ve got a serious problem with people who don’t say what they mean, and mean what they say.  I’ve got a serious problem with people that don’t follow through.

Before you get the idea that this is about to be an angry, therapeutic rant, please note that a lot of the time when I write, I’m speaking mostly to myself.  Some of what I’m about to say may seem hypocritical.  I get that.  I also don’t really care if people feel that way.   If you’re telling me you’ve never been hypocritical, yeah right.  Back to my point.

A person’s word doesn’t seem to hold much value anymore.  This isn’t true with everyone, of course.  I have some people in my life that, when they say they are going to do something, they do it.  For these people, I’ve tried to bend over backwards to return the favor.   Sounds simple enough, but it is so rare that I could count on one hand people I know like that.  While I understand that life is complicated and busy, that plans are sometimes altered because of unforeseeable circumstances, when it becomes a pattern of failure to follow-through, those excuses hold little weight with me.  The result is a one-sided relationship, wasted time, and bitter feelings.

I made a decision a few years ago to start identifying and stop putting so much effort into one-sided relationships.  The gameplan was to make cuts in my life.  People that brought me more grief than joy had to go, because I wanted to take back control of my happiness.  Instead of wasting energy harboring resentment or anger towards these people, I wanted to simply disassociate from them and search for more reliable connections.  Unfortunately, it’s not that easy, especially if you once had a healthy relationship with someone or you care greatly for them. 

There aren’t many things in life that disappoint and upset me as someone who doesn’t respect my time. Whether this is personally or professionally, time is a valuable resource.  So, when I’ve set aside what little free time I have to hang out with a friend, or help them out, or just have lunch, I feel disrespected when someone isn’t mindful of the value of time.  Last week, I was set to have lunch with my pastor, and five minutes before he was to arrive, he called me to tell me he was running late.  A small, easily made gesture that meant the world to me and let me know that he respected my time.  That kind of courtesy is scarce.

I struggle with how to deal with these people.  The short-tempered, selfish side of me wants to erase them from my thoughts, my phone, my life.  Cutting them out completely ensures that I don’t have to deal with the disappointment of another letdown or another event they don’t show up to.  It’s hard not to be personally offended when someone you consider a friend makes plans with you then cancels or doesn’t bother to show up at all and then hides behind a thinly veiled, weakly apologetic text message the following day, if they even bother to do that much.  I don’t need that in my life.  I blame part of this decline in personal relationships on the false sense of connection provided by social media and text messaging, and I know I’m a guilty participant in that culture. Yeah, you may have a thousand friends on Facebook, but how many will show up to your birthday dinner or help you pull your truck out of the mud? I’ve always held to the belief that I only need a few good, trustworthy, reliable friends as opposed to a long list of lukewarm acquaintances.  Another part of me, however, wants to be understanding and forgiving.  Currently, that side is losing this battle by a wide margin.

M.I.A.

For the three of you that read this site on a normal basis, I’m sure you know this already but I’ve been in the process over the last few weeks of finding a new place to live, packing up, moving, and unpacking.  I haven’t had much time or energy to write.  But that will be coming to an end this week, and I’ll get back to it.  My apologies.

Tough Love: A Letter to Myself

I’ve really been letting people down lately.  More so than usual, and it has become unbearable.  I don’t ever want to be thought of as unreliable or someone who wastes other people’s time (the latter is one of my greatest pet peeves), but that is who I have been recently.

I try to justify it.  I’m busy.  Work has been crazy.  I’m in the middle of trying to find a new place to live and pack up and move there in the span of two weeks (anyone that knows just how much, um, let’s call it “stuff”, I have knows this is going to be quite the feat).  My personal life is about as unstable and confusing as I can remember.  I could keep going, but the bottom line is that these are just BS excuses.  For the rest of this post, I will be addressing myself.  A little narcissistic?  No.  I just need a little tough love, and nobody dishes that out better than me.

January 7, 2011

Dearest Ryan,

Ok, so your life isn’t a walk in the park.  You aren’t where you want to be in so many areas of your life.  You’re busy.  You always feel behind.  The list goes on and on, and quite frankly, I’m tired of hearing it from you.

Four words: Suck it up, snowflake.  Quit being so damn delicate and “woe-is-me”.  Nobody is going to feel sorry for you except yourself.  Nobody RSVP’d to your pity party.  Anyone your age who has any sort of good thing going in their life is busy.  You don’t even have a girlfriend, let alone a wife and kids…you think you’re busy now?  Wait till that happens!

You’re busy because you choose to take on a lot of things, and that’s ok, if the important things aren’t being neglected.  Which begs the question: Are the important things being neglected?  It would appear so.  You don’t call your family and friends nearly as much as you should.  Your other personal relationships are falling apart.  You missed an appointment this morning for breakfast with someone very important to you.  Your ulcers have returned, your back is sore from being tense all the time, and you have trouble sleeping because you are stressed.   You’re constantly trying to catch up at work.  And do you know whose fault all of this is?  Your own.

Your actions brought you here, and only your actions can get you back on track.  It isn’t going to happen overnight.  Maybe you should consider re-examining all that you take on, and eliminate some people and things, or at the very least, re-prioritize and make a new commitment to each.  And don’t just talk about it.  Write it down.  Put it somewhere that you will see it every day.  The answer isn’t to simply slow down; quite the opposite.  The answer is to figure out what you want and where you want to be, and develop a plan to get there.

You can’t be all work and no play, and I don’t think your personality is in any danger of that happening.  But you’ve got to do a better job at remembering which comes first in that balancing act.  Yes, it would be fun to go grab a few drinks or a movie with friends tonight.  But are you packed and ready to move?  Have you called your best friend or your brother or sister lately?  Have you written about what’s been nagging at you lately?  Have you given any more serious thought or done any more research about the career and life changes you’ve been contemplating?  No?  Then how can you truly relax and enjoy yourself with all of this and more on your mind?

You’re teetering dangerously on the edge of becoming someone who is all talk.  You say you want to write.  You want to inspire.  You want to start doing some public speaking in an effort to reach people.  Who the hell is going to listen to someone who doesn’t have their own act together?  Creates a real credibility problem, doesn’t it?  Look, this isn’t rocket science, guy.  Stop talking about.  Be about it.  You can post all the inspirational quotes you want to your office wall, but in the end, they aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on if you don’t live them out.  On that note, I’m going to wrap this up, ironically with the quote I think best suits this letter.  But before I do, just know that I love ya, and I want to see ya happy.  But damn it, man, only you can make that happen!  Quit letting life happen to you.  Get your act together, re-focus, and start kicking some ass again like I know you can.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Maria Robinson

 

XOXO,

Hac

Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on

Awkward topic.  Who wants to get on their own website and talk about things other people tell them they do well?  In order to avoid this subject, I initially began to write a tongue-in-cheek piece about how my greatest attribute is my humility, but then inspiration struck.  This post goes all over the place, so hang on and bear with me.

Lately, I’ve received a lot of positive feedback about my writing.  To me, the most interesting aspect of this response is that I never intended so many people to read my website.  After all, who am I?  I’m just an accountant who likes to hunt and cook and coach baseball.  Pretty ordinary.  As I’ve stated before, I wrote long before I started this blog, and I continue to write a lot that never makes it online.  It’s a powerful emotional outlet, can be very therapeutic or relaxing, and I highly recommend it to everyone, even if you don’t consider yourself a writer (because I definitely do not consider myself to be one).  Throughout high school and college, I have had several teachers and professors encourage me to write.  While I never considered making a career out of it (for too many reasons to enumerate here), I have always used writing as a tool to straighten out and explore my thoughts. 

This response to my writing brings to mind another topic I’ve written a little about but haven’t posted yet (that, friends, is what they call in the business a “segue”…don’t try this at home without proper training and supervision).  Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”.  A change I would like to see is friends supporting other friends.  This started back in high school when I noticed that very few students regularly attended baseball games.  Although I know that football rules in the South, and baseball can be a little slow for the casual fan, this made no sense to me.  I had friends, male and female, that played all kinds of sports.  I would go see boys’ and girls’ soccer games, golf matches, swim meets…pretty much anything my friends competed in (which is how, I suppose, I won the senior superlative for Most School Spirit…well, that, and the chest painting at football games…see 2001 yearbook).  I would go see chorus and theater performances.  Anything I could do to support a friend and something that was important to them, I would do.  

Another unanticipated byproduct of my writing has been that it caused a few friends to reflect on their own lives and personal situations.  Lately, I’ve explored other topics that, as I’ve been told, have reached a few people, a windfall I never anticipated.  While I’m no Stuart Smalley (“…because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me!”…sorry, had to do it), it makes me feel good to know that I’ve spurred others to think, and even some to write on their own.  I firmly believe that inspiration can be found anywhere.  I’m inspired by anyone boldly facing a life-threatening illness.  I’m inspired by watching baseball players I’ve coached work hard to realize their dreams (#25, UNCG).  The list could go on forever, with the point being that wherever you want your life to go, grab hold of something that inspires you and go for it!  While writing has been at most a hobby for me, I’ve decided to pursue turning this side-project into something more in the following year.  My writing has led to feedback that has led to me wanting to write more…it has come full circle!

I may not write the next great American novel (fiction isn’t really my thing…..yeah, that’s my excuse).  I may never even get published.  But the compliments I’ve received  and to feel like I’ve touched others’ lives is more recognition than I need.  The support of friends and family has meant so much to me, and I want to thank each and every one of you that reads these posts.

Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

I probably should have read ahead before writing Day 8, because I covered this already.  I’m glad to report again that I don’t have anyone that falls into this category, because I’ve chosen to remove those people from my life.  So, no post tonight!  And I’m so glad, because I’ve been driving for two days,  and I’m exhausted.  I’ll make a better effort tomorrow.

Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted

For the first ten minutes that morning, we couldn’t load our guns fast enough.  Chase and I were on Lake Miccosukee, making ducks drop from the sky like rain.  After the shooting slowed, the conversation turned less about birds in the sky and more towards the random ramblings two sleep-deprived guys in their early twenties were apt to do when the hunting action subsides.  We were sitting in a blind that he and I built (still, to this day, one of my favorite memories of hunting season with Chase), and after a few minutes of talking, things went silent.  That’s when Chase turned to me and said four words that crushed me.

“I’m moving to Charleston.”  I can see it like it happened five minutes ago.

Chase has been my best friend since we were in second grade.  He had a lake on his property, and my parents would drop me off at his house on Friday after school and pick me up Sunday night.  It was a second home, and the Earlys were my second family.  We were constantly on the lake or running around in the woods.  We played baseball together.  There was a while where we were nearly inseparable.  In college, of course, we made new friends and spent less time together, but he was still like a brother to me.  So to hear that he was moving six hours away was defeating.  I’ve never been one to have a lot of friends, just a few close ones, and now my best friend was moving.

I understood why, of course.  Jenny!  And if ever there was a reason to move, this girl would be it.  I can’t think of a more perfect person on the planet for Chase than Jenny.  Chase went on to tell me that while he was in Destin, he got a call from Jenny (they weren’t together at the time).  After a long conversation, he jumped in his truck and drove through the middle of the night to see her in Charleston.  I knew right then that he would marry her one day.  And he did.  (Sidenote: Chase and Jenny are expecting their first child next year, and found out on Christmas Day that it would be a boy!  Congratulations!)

It’s not that I had a choice to let Chase go or not.  And he didn’t really drift away completely.  But as time has passed, the distance between us has grown.  I know part of that is inevitable, but that doesn’t make it any less difficult.  I see him once a year when we hunt ducks over on the East coast Thanksgiving week.  We have very conflicting work schedules, so planning a trip up there for me or a trip down here for him has proven nearly impossible.  The calls have become less frequent.  While I’d still consider him my best friend (he’s the guy that the song “You Find Out Who Your Friends Are” is written about), there’s no doubt that we’ve drifted.  While I miss having him around to hunt or throw darts or just BS with, I couldn’t be happier for the life he’s built in Charleston.  It hasn’t been a walk in the park for him since he moved, but he’s got the best partner anyone could ask for, standing beside him every step of the way.  I know that I can’t close the physical distance, but I know that I can start making efforts to rekindle the friendship.  Consider it added to the list of personal goals for 2011.