I’ve really been letting people down lately. More so than usual, and it has become unbearable. I don’t ever want to be thought of as unreliable or someone who wastes other people’s time (the latter is one of my greatest pet peeves), but that is who I have been recently.
I try to justify it. I’m busy. Work has been crazy. I’m in the middle of trying to find a new place to live and pack up and move there in the span of two weeks (anyone that knows just how much, um, let’s call it “stuff”, I have knows this is going to be quite the feat). My personal life is about as unstable and confusing as I can remember. I could keep going, but the bottom line is that these are just BS excuses. For the rest of this post, I will be addressing myself. A little narcissistic? No. I just need a little tough love, and nobody dishes that out better than me.
January 7, 2011
Dearest Ryan,
Ok, so your life isn’t a walk in the park. You aren’t where you want to be in so many areas of your life. You’re busy. You always feel behind. The list goes on and on, and quite frankly, I’m tired of hearing it from you.
Four words: Suck it up, snowflake. Quit being so damn delicate and “woe-is-me”. Nobody is going to feel sorry for you except yourself. Nobody RSVP’d to your pity party. Anyone your age who has any sort of good thing going in their life is busy. You don’t even have a girlfriend, let alone a wife and kids…you think you’re busy now? Wait till that happens!
You’re busy because you choose to take on a lot of things, and that’s ok, if the important things aren’t being neglected. Which begs the question: Are the important things being neglected? It would appear so. You don’t call your family and friends nearly as much as you should. Your other personal relationships are falling apart. You missed an appointment this morning for breakfast with someone very important to you. Your ulcers have returned, your back is sore from being tense all the time, and you have trouble sleeping because you are stressed. You’re constantly trying to catch up at work. And do you know whose fault all of this is? Your own.
Your actions brought you here, and only your actions can get you back on track. It isn’t going to happen overnight. Maybe you should consider re-examining all that you take on, and eliminate some people and things, or at the very least, re-prioritize and make a new commitment to each. And don’t just talk about it. Write it down. Put it somewhere that you will see it every day. The answer isn’t to simply slow down; quite the opposite. The answer is to figure out what you want and where you want to be, and develop a plan to get there.
You can’t be all work and no play, and I don’t think your personality is in any danger of that happening. But you’ve got to do a better job at remembering which comes first in that balancing act. Yes, it would be fun to go grab a few drinks or a movie with friends tonight. But are you packed and ready to move? Have you called your best friend or your brother or sister lately? Have you written about what’s been nagging at you lately? Have you given any more serious thought or done any more research about the career and life changes you’ve been contemplating? No? Then how can you truly relax and enjoy yourself with all of this and more on your mind?
You’re teetering dangerously on the edge of becoming someone who is all talk. You say you want to write. You want to inspire. You want to start doing some public speaking in an effort to reach people. Who the hell is going to listen to someone who doesn’t have their own act together? Creates a real credibility problem, doesn’t it? Look, this isn’t rocket science, guy. Stop talking about. Be about it. You can post all the inspirational quotes you want to your office wall, but in the end, they aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on if you don’t live them out. On that note, I’m going to wrap this up, ironically with the quote I think best suits this letter. But before I do, just know that I love ya, and I want to see ya happy. But damn it, man, only you can make that happen! Quit letting life happen to you. Get your act together, re-focus, and start kicking some ass again like I know you can.
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
Maria Robinson
XOXO,
Hac
Well said… Could be a letter I’ve written to myself before.