Ok, time to get back on task with the 30 Days of Truth. I was doing so well posting on consecutive days, then vacation ended and life got in the way…but enough excuses.
I never get compliments on my patience. Ever. I want those compliments, and I want them now! The reason I never get compliments about my patience is that, at times, I have little to none.
Sometimes, my vision of the manner and speed in which things should be done precludes my ability to be more understanding. In my personal relationships, I tend to jump all-in and my impatience prevents me from accepting that the other person may not be in the same place I am. Other times, I see the potential for me to change or to improve my standing in life, and I forget that the things I desire, both tangible and intangible, are only attained through processes and time.
I get frustrated too easily. Of all the times I’ve really needed patience, one period that stands out the most is the five years that I coached high school baseball at the freshman and junior varsity levels. Believe me, trying to instruct hormonal fifteen and sixteen year olds on the details of bunt coverages and first-and-third situations requires a lot of patience and repetition. However, if I became frustrated and ran out of patience, it was not out of place as a coach to raise your voice (Sidenote: some coaches actually think that makes them a better one; I tend to disagree…it can get overused to the point where you sound like Charlie Brown’s mother to the players) or inflict punishment in the form of various physical conditioning activities. This works great on the field; not so much in a corporate setting or when dealing with loved ones. If my coworker takes fifteen minutes to relay thirty seconds of information, I can’t exactly blow a whistle and demand they do push-ups (although, strangely, I think I would thrive in a work environment similar to that).
Another area where I’ve shown impatience is with personal relationships. When I exhibit a lack of wisdom and allow myself to get too wrapped up in a romantic relationship, I’m left wondering why we aren’t on the same page. I am guilty of seeing the potential of a relationship; I see it for what it could be, and not what it is. Scripture tells us to guard our hearts. I’m still seeking what that should look like in my life. I think a large part of that is demonstrating patience and moving slowly. I’m a person who wears their emotions on their sleeve, so I tell people how I feel about them. Maybe bolstering the filter between mind and mouth would go a long way in not setting myself up for failure.
Part of this impatience comes from my constant need to feel as if things are moving forward and progressing in my life. I fall victim to the “If you’re not moving forward, you’re falling behind” mentality. While I think there can be some truth to that, I also think life is full of plateaus, which is to say that at times we need to rest, get our bearings, reflect on and learn from where we’ve been, and then prepare for the climb ahead with a clear mind. It is easy to dismiss such a notion in the fast-paced world we live in, but I’m beginning to learn that this can be accomplished through a conscious effort to do so; I simply have to make time to be still. Learning to let go of my gameplan and timeline for life, knowing that there is One with a far better plan and schedule for His work, is a daily struggle, but one worth enduring.
“Patience and fortitude conquer all things”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
